burn.

it’s just another day. I wake up with a dry throat and throbbing head, pull together my sore back hands legs dick and my glasses, move towards the kitchen,get a glass of water, gulp it down. the fucking big red ball out there isnt showing any mercy I can sense the heat melting down from the sky at 7 am. it is going to be a tough day. I sit down to take a shit but my asshole is burning with every dropping. I get out, drink a bottle of water and calm it down. it feels good. give myself a good bath and throw in some food for my grumbling belly. have to go to college. classroom. hell. hell no, hell should be interesting. I sit in the classroom, bright and hot, with nine fans rotating and no wind. it stinks of human sweat, 60 humans to be exact maybe more. it is loud, people opening and closing their mouths all around and the room gets stuffy with words. more room for words and less room for me. I can see words dangling in the heavy hot gusts of wind hitting against the walls missing the open windows just like a stupid fly caught inside a car. my shirt is stuck to my body and I sniff my armpits when no one notices. I don’t stink. not yet. my head is throbbing and I want to sleep, but it is difficult to sleep when you are surrounded by people who can’t shut up and the desks aren’t that comfortable. I let my head fall down on my arms drifting into a sleep, rough ride. I’m up with a numb arm that is paining my head throbbing and I still want to sleep. it is afternoon and the heat is unbearable. the room gets brighter. the sun and the boredom slowly burning my soul(soul sounds fancier than mind heart or skin) I can smell it, it smells like your hair caught fire grey smoke rising up. I try reading words floating around enter your ears and reach the eyes banging against them from the inside, the eyes vibrating and drumming I go blind and close the book. its easy to hate people, all it takes is a burning sun and nothing to do, you see someone smiling and you will hate their guts. it’s surprising to see people happy and smiling in this room, room that feels like the crack between an obese guy’s fat ass cheeks taking a steam bath, humid as fuck. I drink water whenever I get my hands on a bottle and that’s not often. time seems to have died from a heatstroke. I remember my physics teacher from school, a nice old glutton with bad breath telling me about how time flies faster during happy moments or when you are doing something you like special theory of relativity or something and focus on happy stuff, giggle laugh and pretend to be interested in what people are saying. fuck. it doesn’t work and this little experiment hurts my already agonised head. its evening, but the sun is still bright. we get in the car and get the fuck out of college. my head hurts because of the heat but I need dark bitter coffee that is hot. I have two of them the taste that it leaves in my mouth turns shitty after five minutes but I’m too tired to do anything about it. I reach home strip down to my boxers turn on the tap the water is hot I wash my face anyway take a leak, warm yellow piss it burns my dick-head. I turn on the grunting fan and sit on the bed I’m drenched sweat trickling down my forehead neck chest armpits groin and everywhere possible. I lie down take off my glasses and wait for sleep. wait. wait. sleep isn’t coming. my mind comes up with the shittiest thoughts. college. getting a job. hot oily food. it is irritating/frustrating/annoying/pissing off. I scratch my buttocks switch on my phone and start typing this shit, trying to empty my mind, clearing out the words. it doesn’t help, my head still hurts and the weather is still hot.

and I feel like I’m trying to imitate Bukowski it doesn’t feel so good.

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